An article by Maureen Dowd published at The New York Times provides some characteristics or you could call them “flaws” to look out for if you ladies want the ideal husband. Heed this advice and you may dodge mates who would maul your happiness. Ignore it and you may find yourself in a relationship nightmare.
Following is a list of either questions to ask or characteristics to watch out for.
- Never marry a man who has no friends. This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands. If he does have friends, what are they like?
- What do your friends and family members think of him? If the man you wish to marry does not find favor with your friends and family, that is a good indication that your marital relationship will not last.
Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that suffer do so because of money.
- Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours. It’s good to have a doormat at the front door, but not if it’s your husband.
- Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings? When he wants to make a decision, such as where you should go on your honeymoon, does he consult you or his mother.
- Does he have a sense of humor? That in and of itself covers a multitude of sins.
- Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him. For example, “he’s a heavy drinker, or some other kind of addict, but if he marries a good woman, he’ll settle down.” Most often not. People are the same after marriage as before, only more so.
- Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women. Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in his home?
- Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours?
- Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a liar, go into fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, or even to be secretive?
There you have it ladies. You’ve been warned!
I think the very best advice prior to a couple tying the knot is to become best friends first. After all, that is what a husband and wife should be anyways — the very best of friends.
